Messdeck Mirth - Page 3
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The Second
HMS Manchester Association
Yeh! I got it wrong as well!!
(Knocker with the Big Phalanx)
Our Annual Apology

Over the past few months we have forwarded some inappropriate pictures and jokes to friends who we thought shared the same sense of humour.

Unfortunately this wasn't the case and we seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused us of being sexist and shallow.

If you were one of these people, please accept our sincerest apologies.

From now on we will only post or send e-mail with a cultural or educational content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting topics.

Here is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris.  It is the oldest bridge in Paris and took 26 years to build.  It was completed in 1604.....

Ever wondered what the difference between Grannies and Grandads is?

There was this 5 year old granddaughter who is usually taken to school, every day by her grandfather, an ex rootin tootin shootin matelot - ex Mighty Manch!

One day Grandad had a bad cold, and her grandmother did the school run instead.

That night the child told her parents that the ride to school with granny was certainly very different!!

"What made it different?" asked her parents:

"Today, Gran and I didn't see one single tosser, blind [email protected], dick-head, Global 86 prick or complete [email protected] anywhere on the way to school today!  Remarkable!"

(Fine, upstanding non-Global 86 ex-matelot!)

Where the hell did she come from???

Editor to receive bravery award!...A joke about a Royal Marine!

There was this Royal Marine who went for a PULHEEM.

During which the docctor asked him about his physical activity level.

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour hike, about 12 miles, through some pretty rough terrain.  I waded
along the edge of a lake.  I fought my way through thick brambles.  It was very windy and I got sand in my mouth and my eyes.  I only just about avoided sliding into a river .

I climbed several steep hills.  The stress of it all left me physically and mentally drained and at the end of it all I drank
eight pints of beer."

Inspired , the civvy doctor said, "You must be one hell of a Royal Marine!"

"No," said Royal, "I'm just a shit golfer."


At the bar...

Jack bimbled into a bar and saw three very hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to him to be Scottish, so he approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland ?"
Offended, one of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you fxcking idiot!"
So he apologised and replied, "I am so sorry.  Are you three whales from Scotland ?"
And that's the last thing he can remember!

(Knocker White with the Big Phalanx)


Road Works

The ongoing Roadworks on the M275 out of Pompey are to have a new roadsign.

Seems straightforward!

(Knocker with the Big Phalanx)